Years ago, my husband’s aunt and uncle, who were in their mid-60s at the time, received an invitation from a childless couple they were friends with. The couple had commissioned the writing of a Sefer Torah and were hosting an event to celebrate its completion. When our aunt did not respond immediately, she received a phone call from her friend asking if they could please make a special effort to attend. And then she added, “Because, you know, this is our first simcha.”
Infertility is a lifelong challenge that many of us do not sufficiently appreciate. It does not end in the childbearing years, when one is surrounded by births and their accompanying celebrations. The void accompanies a childless couple throughout a lifetime, when they see their peers busy with playground gatherings, birthday parties, bar and bat mitzvahs, graduations, weddings, sheva brachot, and of course grandchildren. Every time that someone else’s children enter a new, exciting stage, it can be a painful reminder of what everyone else is up to and of what might have been, had things been different.
