When we heard that the names of the heroes and heroines of Israel were being erased on the streets of Bet Shemesh, we decided to give them a place of honor in our Sukkah. Please join us in honoring them in yours.
כשנודע לנו שעיריית בית שמש החליטה למחוק את שמות גיבורי וגיבורות ישראל משלטי רחוב- החלטנו לתת להם מקום של כבוד בסוכה שלנו. הצטרפו אלינו בבקשה והכניסו אותם גם לסוכה שלכם.
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Sign and graffiti designating women’s and men’s sides of the stairs, plus graffiti saying, ‘Passage for the immodest is forbidden.’ (Alisa Coleman)
I have been a Beit Shemesh resident for 13 years. I came here to raise my children in Israel. To be part of Israeli society and to live as a Jew in the Jewish homeland.
It’s a beautiful city full of religious, ultra-Orthodox (Haredi), secular, and traditional Jews, or it was when I arrived. But soon the beauty of the city was marred by extremism, by those who outwardly shared my religion, but somehow began to worship “modesty” above all, to the point that women were all but asked to disappear from the public sphere.
Slowly, I watched the women disappear. They were removed from advertisements and health clinic ads. Erased from posters and billboards. My daughters were told to sit in the back of the public bus on their way home from school be\cause “that’s where girls belong.”
When extremists came to the local Orot Banot girls elementary school and called little girls whores, I stood between them and the girls — and for my efforts, I was spit on by grown men in the pious attire of the ultra-Orthodox.
When extremists threw rocks at women’s heads — presumably emboldened by their modesty signs that tell women what they can and cannot wear and where they can and cannot be, I was there to protest.
When an IDF soldier was run off the road and crashed into a pole to avoid Haredim throwing rocks, myself and other activists staged a demonstration and called for an end to incitement against the Israel Defense Forces in our city.
When some Haredim made a practice of flinging dirty diapers and hurling eggs from their apartment balconies at our Modern Orthodox teenagers walking to volunteer on Shabbat afternoon, we were there to shepherd our kids through the mob on the street screaming at them.
Many of us Beit Shemesh residents, women and men, wanted our city freed from the demands of the most extreme elements in town. We worked hard to get an open-minded and tolerant mayor elected. She won, and we rejoiced in the miracle.
We had confidence that the graffiti calling women “whores” and Zionists “goyim” would never stand under her watch. We believed that the weak would be heard and the bullies put in their place.
This turf war is fought in a million little ways. Some want a Haredi city, with Haredi rules and monolithic Haredi values (never mind that Haredim are not actually of one mind). Others want to live in a city where no one population makes rules for the others.
Currently, a new neighborhood is under construction. It is actually the only local area of many new neighborhoods that is officially planned NOT to be fully Haredi. And its streets are being given names. The proposal was to name the 12 streets of this neighborhood after heroes and heroines of Israel: Anne Frank, z”l, Hanna Senesh, z”l, Roi Klein z”l (who died saving others in war), Ilan Ramon, his wife Rona, and son Assaf z”l, and so on. The Haredi members of the Beit Shemesh city council opposed the idea and argued against these street names. Too many of them were the names of women. Really. Too many of these heroes were Zionists. Yes, really.
The decision was made to use the last names of some of the honorees. Not “Anne Frank Street,” but “Frank Street.” “Senesh Street.” Or in the case of the three Ramons, not “Ramon Family Street,” but “Shelosha Street” — the Three.
When the press got wind of the changes, the religious Zionist female mayor, Aliza Bloch, whom we worked so hard to help get elected, claimed that the very notion that the name changes were to eliminate the women’s names was “Fake News.” Rather, the changes were simply to streamline longer street names with one word each, and have uniformity in that way. After all, the street named for Yoni Netanyahu z”l, another hero of the state, killed at Entebbe, was to become Yonatan Street, and the one named for Eliraz and Uriel Peretz, both killed in action in Israel’s wars, would be “HeAchim” — brothers.
But her claim is easily dismissed if you read the official documents on the chosen names and her spokesperson finally acknowledged in an op-ed that the Haredi political parties did indeed object to the women’s names.
So the names are abridged, you might say, and you can’t identify the heroines and heroes of Israel. So what? Who cares about street signs?
You should.
Because nothing stands on its own when the battle is all around you. Every move to erase or marginalize women or IDF soldiers is a step towards a larger goal. It is not about modesty. It is a fight for the core values of Judaism and Israel.
The Haredization of Beit Shemesh is real, the turf war is in full swing, and it is the city that loses. Yet years ago, when this kind of thing was new, those who acknowledged the changes said, “It’s okay,” “Let’s be sensitive,” “It’s no big deal,” and, of course, “It’s their world; it doesn’t affect us.”
And now large swaths of Beit Shemesh youth have been raised with the conviction that women and Zionism are treif, taboo, unclean.
You don’t have to care what’s happening in my town, but please please pay attention in your own community. When you see extremism, tackle it immediately.
For ourselves and for our children, we must stand our middle ground, for at the other end of the path lies the road to Beit Shemesh.
If a picture speaks a thousand words, these images scream volumes. Taken a few weeks ago in the ancient cemetery of Tsfat, they show two sides of the same grave. Rav Yosef Caro zt”l was a mystic, and the author of the Shulchan Aruch, among other works. Thousands come to pray at his graveside. Some have total access to the monument. They can touch it, kiss it, cry on it. Others can talk to the wall behind it.
I cannot think of a better pair of images to illustrate the state of Orthodoxy today, where there is one open accessed reality for men, and one increasingly restrictive reality for women.
You see, today, in Orthodoxy, a man can:
And a woman can:
And she cannot:
Should she seek to change these policies, and ask:
…she can expect to be called a “feminist with an agenda.”
Why are God fearing, religious women being increasingly shut out? Why are our motivations constantly and consistently questioned?
Why are the things that mean so much to us, walled off from us? And who gave the wall- builders that right?
Why is male access guaranteed, while female access shrinks?
The contrast between the way that the Orthodox community in general treats men with the way it treats women has never been stronger. Time and again, we see that men are “innocent until proven guilty.” It might be more accurate to say “innocent even when proven guilty.”
Yet for women, it is almost the opposite: women are “presumed guilty until proven innocent.” Even the wish to dance with a Torah scroll on Simchat Torah is considered subversive unless it can be “proven” to come from a pure, spiritual place.
Once we stood at Sinai together, men and women, “like one person with one heart.” Today, the heart of Orthodoxy is broken, splintered into a dangerous and gaping divide.
Both the Orthodox Union and the Rabbinical Council of America position themselves as rabbinic leadership for (at least) the Orthodox community in the United States. Both maintain that a key component of the Orthodox community is “listening to the rabbis.” Both have condemned in no uncertain terms the concept of Orthodox women clergy, and both have emphasized the vital position and importance of Jewish women in the community.
It baffles me, therefore, that neither the OU nor the RCA has taken a stand against the damaging practice of removing Jewish women and girls from publications that is taking over Orthodox society.
This practice began in the most insular Orthodox communities over the past two decades, and has now become the dominant practice of Orthodox publications, to the great dismay of Orthodox women everywhere.
Entire magazines are devoid of women. There are children’s books, textbooks, comics, and advertisements in which no mothers and no daughters are represented. Beautifully illustrated Shabbat zemirot booklets have grandfathers, fathers and sons; there are no grandmothers, mothers, or daughters. I even have an illustrated Megillat Esther sans Esther.
It’s a bizarre and sad world in which Jewish women are considered immodest, no matter how modestly they dress and act…
Both the OU and the RCA use glowing terms to depict Jewish women in their statements on women clergy:
From the OU: “…female role models are, of course, absolutely critical for the spiritual growth of our community. Communities depend, and have always depended, upon women’s participation in a wide array of critical roles, both lay and professional, that are wholly consistent with Torah’s guidelines.”
From the RCA: “…the Rabbinical Council of America encourages a diversity of halakhically and communally appropriate professional opportunities for learned, committed women, in the service of our collective mission to preserve and transmit our heritage….
Given their recognition of the importance of women in the community at large and their stated respect for women, I found it shocking when, earlier this month, the Orthodox Union’s Jewish Action magazine praised and highlighted the very publications that censor images of Jewish women and girls. The multi-page spread paradoxically spotlighted the women who work for these same publications, while ignoring the fact none of these women — or any other one — can appear in their own publications.
Mishpacha is one of the most prominent publications to omit images of women and girls. When it recently profiled Mrs. Yehudis Jaffe, the article was accompanied by photographs of the educator’s husband and father.
Similarly, in these publications, advertisements show smiling male professionals — real estate agents or dentists, for example — yet their female colleagues are represented by flowers, shapeless icons, or simply a name. The uneven portrayal of men and women doing the same job looks ridiculous, but worse is the fact that, since photographs are worth a thousand words of marketing, the female business owners are at a competitive disadvantage with regard to their market share, with reduced chances for livelihood and clientele.
Tens of thousands of Orthodox women, who adhere to the publications’ values outside of this deeply painful and humiliating policy, find the approach disturbing and puzzling. There are Facebook groups dedicated to the sole effort of changing these policies. These women want visible role models for their daughters. They want to see people they identify with in the pages of magazines. They are hurt and confused at the notion that the very presence of a modestly dressed Jewish woman — or girl– is taboo.
From the women themselves (ironically enough, names have been changed for their protection):
On finding Jewish women inappropriate and removing positive role models:
“I find it extremely distressing that you refuse to print pictures of girls over 6[-years-old] or appropriately dressed women. In a world where we are constantly bombarded with images of what women ‘should’ look like to be the ‘most’ attractive, it is even more important that our girls can look to frum media for appropriate role models.” — Dina
From a father and rabbi:
“…there is a stark difference between my reading experience and that of my wife and daughters, because whereas the main magazine contains pictures of male role models to whom I aspire, the Family First and Mishpacha Junior magazine don’t have pictures of female role models to whom my wife and daughters wish to aspire, and while ‘a picture tells a thousand words,’ it seems for women, they just have to settle with words. …Tzniut is a positive value, not a negative one, and by failing to publish pictures of tzanua women in your publication, the implied message is that no matter how appropriately dressed a woman is, she is still somehow doing something wrong. As someone who teaches young women in seminary, I assure you that whether this is your intended message, it is the message being received by young women — and even not so young women. The level of anxiousness about tzniut observance today, especially among young women, is unhealthily high, and there are many young women whose self-value and self-esteem is suffering for lack of confidence that they appear as they should, because they lack the examples and role models of what that actually means.” — Rabbi Solinsky
On feeling erased and having nothing to relate to:
“Your family magazine is positioned to show my daughters — and their future zivugim [marriage partners] — what Jewish women can be and should be, within the bounds of halacha. I wish that when my girls look in your magazine and see the amazing people and complex issues of the frum world, that they can begin to see themselves — their tafkid [purpose] — their unique path to avodas Hashem [service of God]. They should not grow up feeling like “strangers” in a world that simply erases them…Role models in Tanach [the Bible] exist, and are revered, but is that relatable? For my daughters, where are their people?” — Sarah
On the lack of halachic basis for censoring Jewish women:
“I do not see how you can justify this practice. To the best of my knowledge, it has no halachic basis and I challenge you to prove otherwise. Just as it was only a few generations ago that men and women sat together at wedding dinners but now are separated, so too, photos of “tzniusdik [modest] Jewish women are as hidden as — lehavdil, Muslim women under burkas. Before you roll your eyes at this, ask yourselves: to what further extent will Jewish women be hidden as they are? What will stop this trend toward narrower and narrower parameters?” — Bracha
On the objectification of Jewish women and girls:
“One of the things that pulled me towards Yiddishkeit [Judaism] from my secular life was what I was told about the status of women: how we were special, different but equal in importance, and how we would not be judged by our bodies but by our shining souls and personalities. It is something I hope to share with my children someday…
When you refuse to print pictures of women in your magazine, it goes against what I was taught. Instead, it shows that women are too dangerous to be seen, that we must be hidden away. This is judging women by their bodies, just as the secular culture I left does. It does not display that women are in any way equal… Not only are you putting women down, you are also doing the same to men. While not displaying pornographic images is clearly commendable, not displaying pictures of women at all implies that any sight of a woman is dangerous to a man, that he is totally incapable of controlling himself when confronted with an image of a properly dressed woman or girl. That too says that women are being judged. Being judged as dangerous..”– Chana
By the hundreds, frum women have contacted the publications to request a change in policy. The responses range from polite “thank you for your feedback” notes to the clear revelation that the feelings of the women for whom the magazines are designed are not important, and neither is halacha or hashkafa.
One example: The annual auction brochure published by Oorah, an organization designed to bring families and children opportunities to connect with their Jewish heritage, contains no images of women. Many, many women emailed the organization to express their dismay, and their intent not to contribute to the cause until pictures of females are returned to the publication. The formal response, received by many, according to their comments on one of those Facebook groups:
Thank you for contacting us. We struggle with this question every year. While we may not agree with it hashkafically, we recognize that, from a fundraising standpoint, it would turn off much of our donor base … we are following the decision of mainstream frum publications who have made this the standard in frum publications.”
Who created this particular standard? Donors? Advertisers? Who then needs rabbinic leadership, if economics drives Jewish policy?
The OU and RCA came out strongly against women clergy of any kind. Their numerous statements and 17-page paper on the matter make their position clear, even as the same documents praise Jewish women and proclaim that they are to be valued. Yet the concerns of the Orthodox women who look to the OU and RCA for rabbinic leadership — women who value Torah and tzniut and truth — are not even on the radar of these organizations. How else to explain their silence on this issue of censorship and objectification that matters so much to so many?
Without question, this policy of removing nearly all images of women and girls from Orthodox publications alienates Jewish women from those who represent Torah. To be clear: the same women that the OU and RCA respect for their place in tradition find themselves excluded by the extreme changes to that tradition, and cannot all remain committed to views that, in fact, are not tradition.
I urge the established Orthodox leadership, in the form of the venerable institutions of the OU and the RCA, to take a stand against this damaging practice of disappearing images of modest Jewish women from Orthodox publications, and stand up for the dignity of Jewish women.
Imagine a world without women. No mothers or daughters. No female doctors, MKs, teachers or even real estate agents. No girls swinging on playgrounds or young women going to school.
Open one of the numerous pamphlets or magazines in towns around the world with large haredi communities – from Bnei Brak to Lakewood, New Jersey, from Betar Illit to London – and that is what you will find. Even the magazines created for women, like Mishpacha and Bina, have no women or girls in them.
Read More in the Jerusalem Post
If a man cannot look at a woman and say ‘What a healthy and handsome woman the Almighty has created,’ then I do not know what is happening to us. And I fear that if this continues, we will have to veil our faces.
These are not my words (though I’ve said them in these pages before), these are the words of Rabbanit Adina Bar Shalom, daughter of Rav Ovadia Yosef a’h.
Speaking at a conference, she said she was “greatly ashamed” that the Shas publication “Day to Day” ran a photograph of the newly elected government with the faces of female ministers blurred out.
Read more in the Times of Israel
Shoshanna Keats Jaskoll
