Tag: Yoetzot Halacha

In response to backlash against the RCA’s announcement that disqualifies women from serving as official clergy in synagogues or other Jewish institutions, Rabbi Avraham Gordimer felt compelled to emphasize a point. He wrote:

“The drafters purposefully did not want to convey an opinion about the propriety of Yoatzot programs and the like, as the RCA has no position on the matter, and many RCA members, this writer included, are not in favor of such programs. This is a critical point of clarification that must be made and publicized.”

We feel compelled to state: It is simply incomprehensible that there are still those in the Orthodox Jewish world who are opposed to Yoatzot Halacha. For more than 15 years, learned, frum, God-fearing women have provided a much-needed alternative for women observant of taharat hamishpacha, who until now had no choice but to bring their intimate apparel and intensely personal questions to men for examination.

For an indication of the kind of difference that these women have made, and to illustrate just what Rabbi Gordimer ‘is not in favor of’, here are just a few testimonies of women’s experiences.

“I had to call the rabbi after my wedding night to determine if I was actually in niddah or not, which required me to tell the rabbi what we did, how we did it and how it made my body feel.”

“I had just delivered at 21 weeks, and I was desperate to be out of niddah, desperate for comfort and to move on. I needed to get to my rav before sunset so I wound up on a highway with him holding my underwear up to the sun to get an answer.”

“I was due Yom Kippur, was already in early labor erev Yom Kippur and needed to know what I was allowed to do for personal hygiene on Yom Kippur as a yoledet. The rav didn’t quite understand, I needed to explain… I really needed to speak to a woman about this. It was so awkward.”

“I once called to ask a simple question and the rabbi asked for my name to which I questioned why my name was at all important in relation to the question….He said he would not answer without knowing who I was. I told him that if he doesn’t just answer the halachic question I would not ever come to any rabbi to ask again. He continued to refuse so I hung up.”

“I never asked niddah questions before yoatzot. I just considered myself a niddah every time. We are taught to be so modest, and then expected to discuss private details with a man? I couldn’t do it.”

Yoatzot provide a vital service to women who voluntarily, out of ahavat and yirat shamayim, expose the most personal aspects of their lives for inspection and regulation. Thousands of women repress the very modesty that has been ingrained in them from the time they were girls in order to air the most intimate details of their bodies, cycles and sexuality for the sake of heaven.

There is no doubt that the availability of knowledgeable women to turn to encourages women to grow in observance of mitzvot, attain a greater understanding of halacha, and deepen their appreciation of Torah.

Women who shied away from asking questions too embarrassing or difficult to explain to men are willing and able to approach knowledgeable women who understand.

Women who were inappropriately strict because they did not want to ask intimate questions can now resume marital life with their husbands with confidence.

Women who suffered from “halachic infertility,” where the very observance of halacha impeded conception, as well as women who felt alienated and frustrated by taharat hamishpacha, even to the point of giving it up entirely, now have an address for halachic assistance and comfort.

How can this be a bad thing?

The yoetzet hotline for halachic questions fields between 30 and 40 questions each night, not including calls made directly to independent or community yoatzot. Approximately 16,000 questions have been catalogued on Nishmat’s website, which gets an average of 300 hits per day. Indeed, it is likely the largest repository of halachic responsa on taharat hamishpacha in the world.

When the Nishmat hotline started logging calls, the most surprising detail to the Rabbi in charge was the length of the phone calls. In the Rabbi’s vast experience of answering niddah questions, the average length of a conversation was between 1 and 2 minutes and it was always over as soon as possible. The average yoetzet call was 15 minutes. The quality of the answer was on a totally different level.

Dr. Deena Zimmerman, Yoetzet Halacha and Director of www.yoatzot.org, as well as Medical Supervisor of Nishmat’s Women’s Halachic Research Institute, expounded on the significance of the program.

Firstly, the need for yoatzot is apparent. To illustrate: in one particular community, the rabbi had been hearing 5-6 questions on taharat hamishpacha over the course of a month; when a yoetzet joined that same community, she received 5-6 taharat hamishpacha questions per DAY. The number of questions skyrocketed when the voice on the other end of the line belonged to a yoetzet.

An unintended but sorely needed outcome of the advent of Yoatzot is the emergence of healthy dialogue regarding sexuality within the frum community. From women’s health to the halachot of birth control, a staggering ignorance of vital issues leaves women disempowered and dangerously uninformed. So many women, based on previous partial information, assume that birth control is always assur or that every drop of blood renders one a niddah, regardless of circumstances. This leads to inappropriate stringency, immense frustration and being dangerously overtaxed to the detriment of the entire family.

A story to illustrate how this occurs: One woman gave birth to a 26-week-old baby and assumed that it was assur for her to use birth control post-partum. She didn’t even ask. It was by chance that she spoke with Dr. Zimmerman, who helped her better articulate her circumstances so that she could speak to her rav with greater accuracy. With a newfound understanding of which details were halachically significant, she was able to convey the relevant information to her rav.  She received the heter and was able to focus on and care for her premature infant.

The laws and requirements of taharat hamishpacha can be very difficult, intensely stressful and induce great self-doubt in the women who uphold it. It is helpful, therefore, that, as women, Yoatzot provide an understanding ear and know the right questions to ask in order to determine ways to alleviate some of the difficulty.

Many inquiries to the hotline and website begin: “I hate this mitzvah. It is ruining my marriage and my sanity. I cannot get clean. I cannot take this anymore.” Yoatzot patiently work through these issues with the women, discussing the specifics and details– often very intimate details that the women were unable to share with their rabbis or even their own husbands.

The yoatzot, who have devoted two years (logging in over 1000 hours of intensive study) to train under rabbinic authorities in taharat hamishpacha, help couples navigate the complexities of each case within a halachic framework. Thousands of relieved couples have benefited from the invaluable service they provide. Instituting yoatzot as part of a shul or community strengthens the community, Judaism, family and taharat hamishpacha.

Given the yoatzots’ specialization in Hilchot Niddah and the practical applications of these halachot, they are much better equipped to deal with these specific issues than the average rabbi. They have passed rigorous exams on the topic of shimush and niddah. These scholars have been chosen for their extensive Torah knowledge, leadership ability, and deep religious commitment to serve as a resource for women who are more comfortable discussing very personal issues with another woman.

The service provided by yoatzot, each of whom has received extensive training from experts in modern medicine and psychology (including gynecology, infertility, women’s health, family dynamics, and sexuality), is a profound contribution to contemporary Jewish life. These women educate and guide, advising us through the dynamic of taharat hamishpacha. They field thousands of inquiries that may very well have gone unasked, they consult on a woman’s behalf with rabbinic authorities on particularly sensitive matters, and they provide an unparalleled understanding of matters that are uniquely shared among women.

To say that yoatzot are anything but a tremendous addition to Jewish life is to ignore the profound social, halachic, and educational contributions that yoatzot have already proven in the frum community. It also suggests reverting back to a time when Torah observant women’s needs were simply not sufficiently met.

How many women avoid going to their rabbi with questions because of the deep shame they feel discussing intimate details with a man? How many women do go out of a sense of religious duty, but still suffer from the embarrassment and unable to give complete details do not get the proper response? How many women assume birth control is forbidden, regardless of circumstance? How many believe that any colored discharge renders one a niddah? How many faithfully cling to every stringency as instructed to them by their kallah teachers, though their bodies have changed or circumstances are different?

Opposition to yoatzot halacha begs the question: Exactly what are you saying to Jewish women when you angle to remove the very thing that meets their deep needs and enables so many to keep one of the most sacred and pivotal mitzvot?

Moreover, if you do away with yoatzot, whatever will you provide that will accomplish all that they do for women, the community, and the observance of taharat hamishpacha in their stead?

–Shoshanna Jaskoll, Rachel Stomel, Tamar Weissman and Anne Gordon
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